Who is Norma?

Well, first off, that's not my real name, of course. Posting one's real name on a blog is risky, especially for T-folks.

I've made more than forty but less than fifty passes around the sun. I have a degree in music from one of the schools in the University of Texas system. I also hold a Wiccan initiation, the equivalent of the third degree, though I don't practice Wicca per se anymore, and also have founded a northern Heathen Kindred.

My spiritual beliefs fall somewhere between a three poled arrangement between Neo-paganism, Norse Traditionalism, and New Age Metaphysics. I'm not bound to one philosophy, instead looking for answers from as many sources as possible. Taoism also plays a strong part in my faith.

I compose songs and musical works. I also write fiction and non-fiction. My fiction tends to science fiction oriented works, with some limited fantasy stuff. I also write some erotic fiction, some of which will appear soon on a few sites on the web. I am published, though of course I won't reveal when and where to preserve anonymity.

I have a strong interest in psychology. In fact I was looking at a career in it until recently. I'm working on establishing a recording studio that produces audio books soon.

Notice a strong lack of "I am" statements above? That's because I don't like them -- my identity is more than a label. The only thing I am is me.

Oh, one more thing -- I lost my vision in the summer of 2003. That's not a figurative statement -- I've been declared legally blind, and it's total, not partial blindness. And though I need a little assistance, I do alright. I have good orientation and mobility skills, a good sturdy cane, and a very good guide dog.

That's enough for now. Expect more thoughts from me here, and less sharing of my feelings. (I have other outlets for those) And of course, feel free to email me if you have questions or want to chat.

I believe re-introductions are in order

I am once again re-purposing this blog. Would that make this a re-repurposed blog, then?

I will describe the new scope of my blog in a moment, but first, let me say... I've fallen in love with my best friend - and we couldn't be happier! One of the beautiful things about our relationship is the sheer level of acceptance and openness with which we approach each other - and life. Which brings me to my point:

We are both queer... but not in the generally accepted sense of the term. "Queer" doesn't denote "Gay" or "Homosexual". Queer is the opposite of Straight - not the opposite of Heterosexual. I personally know several Straight Gays, and many Queer Heterosexuals. Straight and Queer indicate lifestyle and outlook more than sexuality to me.

We are both Bi-sexual, have decided that we will eventually open up our relationship to Polyamory (more on that in later posts), and enjoy some BDSM. But there's something else that sets us apart from other couples, even in the Queer and Gay communities - my Significant Other is a genetic male who is more feminine than I am. Norma, the love of my life, wants her body to reflect that femininity by way of breast augmentation and dress, but also wants to keep that not-so-little Bit that would make her a she-male.

Our little family is unconventional, to say the least. As we consider expanding our hearts and lives to include an Offspring (or two), I have some questions:

What would the child call my Partner? Would the child have two Mommies? How does one make the transition with (relatively) conservative family and extended family, when physical changes start being made to Norma's body?

Ever the inquisitive one, I started perusing Teh Interwebs, doing searches along the lines of "Wives of Transgendered Men".

What I found was thoroughly unhelpful, and some were even a little alarming. My preliminary search unearthed only two schools of thought -

1) Wives who were ashamed of their now "cured" cross-dressing husbands, and
2) Advice (usually from Transgendered men) for wives of "cross-dressing" husbands

While Option (2) seemed to be promising, it was actually the most frustrating of the bunch! What I came across was an informative website, given from the perspective of a Best Girlfriend dishing insider information. What frustrated me is that it was aimed at an audience that is, well, decidedly ... straight - women who are confused and even scared of what this could mean for their relationship. The Best Girlfriend takes all of this into consideration in her advice, telling the wives how to navigate several situations that are foreign and unfamiliar.

The thing is, I don't fit that bill! ... at all! Advice is lost on me when someone says, "If you're uncomfortable with him 'dressing', make sure he has some time to do so on his own", because ... we frequently go out, dressed femme ... together.

I am not satisfied with the limited scope of these sites! What I'm looking for is a resource for women who are proud of the strides their Significant Others have made in accepting themselves; wives who are happy in their unconventional, slightly left-of-center relationships, who find fulfillment in every interaction with their beautifully quirky she-male partners.

Because I have yet to find such a resource... I'm making one. If you know of anyone who might find this blog remotely interesting, share the link. I'd love to connect with others who find themselves in this unique situation - because I think it may not be as unique as all that. Many aspects of the GLBT community are still closeted. It is my hope to shed light on my experience, while drawing strength from others' - thereby opening those closet doors.

Besides - closets are for clothes. Really fabulous clothes!